The Wonderful World of Live Music
This past week was a blur as Thanksgiving came and went, and thoughts of being grateful for all I have and don’t have were accentuated by the lack of stress and turmoil that many associate with holiday time. I am grateful for a mild and uneventful holiday where I participated in the annual fundraiser at my job and happy to be able to serve those who donated to Operation Hope, a local homeless shelter that I grew up close to while living in this town for decades now.
On Saturday November 28, 2016 I went to see Shinedown and Five Finger Death Punch in Newark, New Jersey – what an amazing, incredible show – totally worth every minute of driving in a shitload of traffic and floor tickets were the right choice because we got up to third row from the stage, close enough to make eye contact and see the sweat on the brows of the band. No other way to see a band like FFDP. Totally obsessed.
As I hear the mail truck outside, I am reminded of the time and of the planner I ordered over a week ago now that I am really excited to get. I have eagerly waited for its arrival, imagining how it is going to help me gain momentum on my goals and projects – although other house related goals and projects must be completed first. I am grateful for how the Universe has indeed answered my order to have things be re-organized and more in alignment with the goals for all of us, not just my goals. We are all supporting each other, and when we keep in tune with what makes each other happy, within our own household – it just helps to create a stronger energy where we consider what we all need instead of focusing on just one person, or just one issue.
National Novel Writing Month is coming to an end and I have made progress with this as well, seeing my book take a new turn into being born into what I have been struggling to create for years actually, since 2009 when Whispers of the Goddess was published. That book took ten years to come into the light of publication. This time I have the next level of education and information to help me go the way I think I need to be sure that this one reaches out into the world with both its light and dark, good and bad, true and false – its authentic voice couldn’t be any more honed…or could it? I am sure it can. But I have so many words committed to this one, and this past month has brought very interesting concepts with it. I am grateful for all of the things that enlighten me, disgust me, and annoy me. All of them help me to be more mindful of what I think is beneficial to share, and that I believe will help in inspirational ways.
Thank you , for being here, being supportive, or not – and reading my words.
No new art projects will be released before the end of 2016, as far as I can see with “The Purge” happening here, but I will continue to write, and create poetry – so staying with me here at my blog is so appreciated. I cannot retract the Moon-day Blog promise!
Tomorrow is the New Moon – what new habit or old habit will you alter?
Have a great week! See you next Moon-day!
Birthday wishes and the Moon
My birthday has come and gone, and with it I get that annual push of creative destruction that I know fellow Scorpio's are familiar with. I also know that the best lesson I have learned this past year is knowing when to keep my mouth shut when things are changing because when other people get involved in the process of my own personal changes and choices, that shit slows way down. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I currently house the energy of a work horse that drinks copious amounts of caffeine and much too much sugar.
Over the last few weeks I have been listening to what my inner voice is saying, and now that my body is actually believing what it is saying on many levels and one of these things is "You are not a baby cow." So this morning I bought my last mocha latte with skim milk. My stomach has been crazy since whatever I told myself on November 1st. Probably something about being a slave to a dairy/caffeine addiction and that I am not that girl. Shit man, I have my work cut out for me because it is coming over me like a tidal wave of realization that I say things over and over until my body physically takes over and rejects things in a painful way. I am done with that, and this Supermoon energy is going to be another piece of that puzzle that I have been putting together as I clean out all the old bullshit in this house.
How Deep Is Your Love
Is it like the ocean? Is it like nirvana? Well - that's another Scorpio thing - being the element of water, aligning with the heart - that deeper deepest place of a passion that cannot be overridden in the channels of music, art, and poetic inspiration - I can get lost in there and not come out for hours. This is something I grapple with because I have a lot of different responsibilities to handle as do we all, with children, with parents, siblings, co-workers - all of these things we are doing everyday. We find something that we love that takes us out of that place - that area of high level stress sometimes, the concentration we need to maintain to keep ourselves together. To keep our patience and integrity intact.
(True Disaster/Tove Lo)
To keep ourselves from freaking out or overreacting - that expanding consciousness of learning to deal with things as they are and as they change, sometimes in an instant that makes us re-evaluate what we are currently doing - and realizing that the tide of life never stops. It doesn't stop for death, it doesn't stop for achievements, for illness, for birth - none of us can stop when death comes, when the moon is super full, when the wheel of the year continues to turn and the seasons age our faces, our bodies don't do what we want them to do, what we try to make them do. What is the secret to "going with the flow" when it is going so fast? The secret is to go slower. I know it's true because there was a day last week when I had like five deadlines to meet. I had gotten on the highway without the keys to the house I was going to. Had to go back home to get them. Some other similar things happened that day that I swore I would write down, but too hurried to do it. I do remember that specifically, because it's hard not to.
This Is What You Came For
Many of you who know me personally know how much I struggle with the relationship with my mother who adopted me as an infant. As I have grown older, and especially this year I am being challenged in a web of circumstances and I am coming to know the truth of being able to forgive both myself and anyone I feel I need to forgive for whatever reasons because it is going to benefit both of us, and mainly me. When I forgive me, I emit that energy to any other person who I come into contact with. When I forgive that rude person who cuts in front of me in the line at the store, or when I forgive myself for calling them a fucking asshole for cutting me off while driving in the fast lane and then slamming on their brakes for whatever reason, I think it's progress. Every. Single. Time. It's a lot of work. It takes a serious amount of strength to be that forgiving. It takes no strength at all to be belligerent and rude. It is so easy to be ignorant and nasty. I understand that I won't always feel this way, because things happen - sometimes too many things in a row, in a short amount of time. But there is a key there - there is a place to take a detour and even if it is locking myself in a bathroom or in my car for five minutes to just get a grip and ask for help - that five minutes - in any one's world - can be the difference between a violent escalation of words that cannot be taken back, a terrible slew of accusations that will break someones spirit. Lately, music has been infiltrating my though patterns, to break through the old ways of believing that I had to do things a certain way and in my writing practice, in my story "The Forest Labyrinth" it has helped to influence what I am currently learning and teaching in my own world and that of those closest to me. What I have to found to work and propel me forward, and that has been progress this month.
(What Do You Mean/Justin Bieber)
Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. #truth
I'm just going to do that, without pissing people off because I will already have forgiven them, and because I will not apologize for doing what I like - if it makes me happy. I know that the energy is contagious and the more I feel that, the more I can share it, through my words, my art, my poetry and my teaching of how it works. I am grateful and blessed to have just one other person reading this and hopefully getting some kind of benefit from it - because we are all just trying to feel better. We all just want to like what we do. We all can learn to make the best of things if we can remember what we love to do, and look forward to something that we know drives us to feel that we are important, with a purpose. It doesn't have to be a massive groundbreaking spectacle of a thing. It just has to be something that pulls us up out of that ground level stagnant energy - a song...a ride...a workout...a painting...a movie...a text...an email...a quote that we use for our screensaver. Then go from there. Build on it. Let it gain momentum, and if it sputters out, just pick up where you left off. Start over. This Supermoon is a great chance to change something you don't like doing and trade it in for something you do. Let it become the change you want to see in yourself, the smallest one can be the one that gets you on the track to the rest.
Much love, #333
This past week has been like three weeks into one, but that’s not uncommon. Lots of positive changes and the completion of my course in novel writing instruction has commenced. I am waiting on my next diploma and I am involved in one too many things, again. So I thought that I probably need to stop that because I know that I know how to write, and I know how to paint, and I know how to create and that there is a season for all of these things.
The past few years have been better for me in general, and I do accredit that to the way I have been living a better way for me personally. The way I chose to do that is a lot of the time very zig-zagged and hectic and on the eve of my birthday, I get that weird and enigmatic feeling of “oh no, another year has gone by and I said I was going to get this shit done, and haven’t done it yet.”
Been reading a lot about forgiveness, and when I think of certain things that require my forgiveness, I am still like “fuck that” but like the time I quit smoking, I had to do all the judging of myself first, and forgiving myself first is probably the way that I am going to push this barricade out of my way. I had been writing for the National Novel Writing Month starting the first of November and I have that barricade in my way, for my story…until I realized that it was a block, it became something I could move.
The Forest Labyrinth has been evolving for a long time, and all this time alongside it, my sons have grown up and I have worked and I have dealt with so many family things that I cannot begin to try to explain, or want to, but I can say that there is something that I have been saying for many years that I have recently decided to stop saying. So many positive things are going to arise out of that space now that I have changed one major belief, and things are all connected – so I thought it was important to write about that tonight. If you can change just one major belief that you have been telling yourself for a long time that makes you feel small and trapped, and replace it with one of freedom and truth – everything can change from there, one small thought at a time. As for the forgiveness thing, I am still working on that.
Not much new in my Etsy shop this week. Of course, I will update that here, and I haven’t sent out a first email to my mailing list yet – but when I do, I hope to have something new to show you! Thanks for being here, and signing up for it. See you again next Monday for the Full Supermoon of November!